Oxygen: Live Out Loud

Tonight's episode was a tough one. A lot personally and professionally going on. I was really excited to be finishing my 3rd memoir "Uncharted TerriTORI". Writing my books has been such an amazing experience on so many levels. It’s such a release to be able to put my feelings and stories into words. I'm not always great at expressing my feelings verbally but I can truly express all of it in the written word. And, it’s been an unbelievable tool in reaching and connecting to my fans. I'm grateful for the success of my first two books and am truly excited to share my 3rd with my fans. Every book is a further journey in my life and I think this one is the most raw and revealing as I keep making my own path in life as a wife, mom, and woman! I was so excited for the vision of my book cover. I love picking the color for my covers. All of my favorite colors. My first was fuscia, second kelly green, and now third is canary yellow. Very true to T! And the look was safari chic! I got to wear an amazing vintage YSL safari dress from the 1960's. And, my friend James helped make my vision a reality. He styled the whole shoot. So fun! Especially because my family got to be in the shoot with me.


After a really long shoot day, I had to hurry home to bake goodies for my kids’ school bake sale. I love to bake, so I had signed up to make cookies and rice krispy treats, but of course didn't realize it was same day as my photo shoot. Luckily, Guncle Scouty came to help me. But I love when my two worlds meet! I spent all day glamming it up for photos and then rushed to be mommy Crocker for the bake sale. It’s all about doing all the things you love and finding your balance!


Dean had his first big race of the season. Seeing the raw footage on the show of him being rushed to the hospital after the crash is still devastating to watch as his wife and mother to his children. Seeing him on a stretcher with a neck brace on is heartbreaking to me. It’s one of my fears, and seeing it happen in reality and to that degree is painful. What's more painful is that he chose not to tell me. I understand his reasons but having to find out on a press line in front of people was hard. In the footage from E! I can see right thru myself. I might be acting PC for press but my eyes say "PISSED". It felt humiliating. He gets that now and I'm glad, but it was hard to take at the time. Not to mention that a week later Us Weekly featured my red dress in Fashion Police! I thought that dress rocked!

For the first time in 5 seasons, Dean and I had a huge fight. And, I'm really proud of how we handled it. We do a reality show, but in that moment we both could have told the cameras to stop filming and we could have done it in private. But we didn't do that. We got it all out and on the table and I'm proud to reveal that side to our fans. It’s life. No marriage is perfect. Real couples have real problems. That's life. Bad or good. Dean and I are committed to each other and we let happen what a lot of couples who have children and busy lives let happen...we stopped communicating. We didn't intend to. In fact we promised we never would, but sometimes life happens. I held in my feelings till this breaking point. And, it was the most uncomfortable thing confronting him but I'm so glad it happened. We've realized we need to find US again. We love each other and I'm confident that thru communication and listening to each other and re-prioritizing we can get back to the true T&D. I know that love conquers all, and Dean and our kids are my world. Life happens but love happens too, and staying in communication and listening to each others needs should be a priority. We are committed to making THAT our reality!

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To see more of Tori's style through the years, click here.
Read about Dean's thoughts on his crash here.