Sex is a funny thing... Men and women have such different reactions to the notion of a healthy and alive sexual relationship. Dean and I have a very healthy and alive sex life. Let having two babies in two years show that to be true! But Dean always seems to refer to the "sex we used to have". Ok, it's true... When men and women start a relationship they have over the top sex. Sex records that one could never be expected to maintain or top over a lifetime. It's unrealistic. I guess it's instinct... We meet... We have sex... We have lots of sex... Good sex... And then bam, deem that partner worthy of spending the rest of our lives with. But, once that mate selection is made the sex life does seem to slow down a bit. That's just life. If we had start-up sex forever we would never get anything accomplished in life. Start-up sex would be our career, life, partner, and hobby all in one. So, in my opinion (and I'm a woman talking)... We get our crazy sex out of the way first and then settle into what I deem a healthy, active sexual relationship.
The problem is men think that a healthy, active sexual relationship is sex three times a day while the woman's internal dictionary defines it as three times a week and maybe four if you happen to unsolicited do something beyond your usual boy duties... Like bring home flowers, spontaneous foot massage, or say "go sit down honey... I'll make dinner tonight...bathe the kids... And put them down for bed while you relax in bed and watch 'The Real Housewives of NYC.'" I find that very healthy! What I don't find healthy is the fact that men can't just cuddle. I say spoon me cause my feet are cold... He tells me I'm getting him all HOT. We just have different agendas sexually and emotionally. I equate emotional stability to how many times my husband has hugged me in a day and how interested is he in hearing me rant about calling Whole Foods and after being on hold 15 minutes being told they did carry a certain produce and driving there to indeed find that heirloom tomatoes were nowhere to be found. Thus leaving my recipe for a summer tri color heirloom and burrata cheese caprese not possible. So long family dinner! So long dreams! (Ok, I'm being dramatic... I'm a chick.) He, however equates emotional stability to how many times a day I've glanced at his lower region, notice he's strengthened his pectorals, and how many times I want to jump his bones! Men have the most romantic terms! All in all it makes me laugh. Men are truly simple creatures... Feed them and give up your body for sex and they are happy. It's us complicated women gender that need and want so much more. But hey... We deserve it!
Another funny yet frustrating thing is... The terrible two's! Or whatever we label it when our little perfect angel from heaven suddenly changes into a mini ball of rage out of nowhere that screams, hits, bites, and cries over something so simple as "let's put your jacket on because it's 20 degrees outside". After all, we were in Vancouver filming my episode of Smallville -- my reprisal role as villainous Linda Lake. I brought my whole family with me for the two week filming schedule. It was Buggy's 1st flight and Liam was "in a mood". Maybe he didn't get the memo that terrible two's are reserved for those in their two's! Not 1 1/2 year olds who just randomly decide to pitch fits.
I had a crazy work schedule and was already feeling immense guilt because I wasn't able to spend enough time with the kids. I felt like if they went a whole day without me and they'd suddenly forget me or perhaps figure out that Daddy could do it alone. They'd think why do we need this emotional mommy mess that's always trying to kiss me and make sure my tee shirt doesn't clash with my socks?
It was fun to "act" again. I loved being the villain and getting to kick ass but after each scene I'd go to my trailer and look at pictures of my babies on my Blackberry and get sad. Another day missed with them. And then, when Liam did see me but he was all about Dean and kinda aggressive towards me, I tried to assure him that I wasn't choosing Clark Kent over Liam Aaron but he wasn't having it. But we got through the shoot and it went well and then we took a mini mini vacation to Whistler to show the kids their first snow.
They looked so cute bundled up in snowsuits. Liam seemed to love picking up and eating snow. Buggy seemed indifferent. We took a carriage ride. It was beautiful. It reminded me that the last carriage ride I took with Dean in the mountains through the snow he asked me to marry him. And, now there we were with our own snow angels.
I did try snow boarding. HA! That was me laughing at myself. I just don't think I was built for outdoor physical recreation. I'm much more of a "let's wear a cute scarf and boots and sip red wine by the lodge fireplace" type. But my husband is as physically active as they come. He's all about Anything that involves the outdoors, a stick of sorts, and speed. So, to appease him, earn girl points, and to not look like a total puss I decided to try it. So, I came... I tried... I charmed... I froze... I left. Mission accomplished! Now where's that lodge?!? But alas, we got much needed family time together even if it was freezing and just one weekend.
My ideal situation would be to do another TV movie with Dean. We thrive best in our relationship when we are able to do it all together. So, I'd love to find a script where we can star in it together. That means even if we have to travel we can take our kids and work together as a family. I hope we can find one soon! It would be amazing.
Till next week! T xoxo
- Episode 9: And Baby Makes Five The family welcomes their third child, Hattie Margaret McDermott!
- Season 7 Recap See the best moments from BGC 7.
- Season 6 Recap Look back on Season Six of Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood!
- House: Before & After A look at how Tori and Dean's house transformed into a fabulously furnished home!
- Maternity Dresses Tori is a fashionista and certainly knows how to rock the mommy gear! We know Stella will follow in her mother's fashionable footsteps and develop her own amazing style!
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